Social Skills training 

What are social skills and social skills training? 

Social skills are the tools and skills that help people to listen and communicate with each other, solve conflicts, empathy, demonstrate positive friendship behaviors, make friends, get our needs met appropriately, share and receive, and interact with others in a positive way.  

Children who are behind in social skills may benefit from extra practice, teaching, or direct instruction in social skills, often referred to as social skills training. 

A study by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation published in 2015 revealed that children with better “social competence skills”  were more likely to attain higher education and get better-paying jobs.   

Students with weaker “social competence” skills were more likely to drop out of school or to get lower-paying jobs. 

We start teaching children social skills at a young age, and as our children grow and mature, social skills become increasingly complex.  

What are some types of social skills training?

Social skills training is a direct way of teaching social skills.  Directly teaching social skills has been proven to improve social skills in children and teens. 

There are many ways to teach social skills.  The methods listed below are from less structured to the most structured and intensive. 

1. Books on friendship: Read books on friendship, sharing, taking turns, greeting others, or more!  This is a fun and easy way to help your child build their social skills. After you read the books together, remind your child of what they read and learned in the books. 
2. Informal practice:  If you notice that your child is struggling with a social skill, practice doing that skill at home together.  For example, if your child struggles with saying “hi” to others, practice doing this at home.  Practicing skills at home reduces your child’s stress and helps them feel more confident to use the skills when they are out and about. 
3. Specific visuals/ social stories: If your child struggles with understanding language or needs more visuals, you can write your child a specific social story.  This would include you identifying the specific skill that your child is working on, breaking down the skill into smaller steps, then finding pictures to match the specific steps. For example, if your child is having a hard time joining in play with other children, you can break down the skill into smaller steps.
   
   Step 1: decide if you want to join the activity. 
   Step 2: stand near the children playing. 
   Step 3: wait for a good time to ask to join in. 
   Step 4: ask “Can I play”?
   Step 5: join the game. 
   
   Using visuals and social stories can be an excellent strategy if your child has autism or other developmental disabilities.  If your child has other professionals working with them on their care team,  such as Behavior Analysts, therapists, or social workers, they can also help you create visuals and social stories. 
4. Video modeling: There are many videos that you can search for on Youtube to help improve social skills. Watching videos is a great way to help your child stay engaged, and make the skill more relatable. Teens may particularly benefit from learning social skills via video.  Just a word of caution, make sure to preview any videos you show from Youtube to make sure it is appropriate.
5. Social Skills Curriculum:  You can also use a formal social skills curriculum to improve your child’s social skills! Skill Streaming and Strong Kids are two of my favorite structured social skills curriculums.  Both curriculums have lessons for emotional management skills, social skills, and problem-solving skills.  There are a variety of ages that can be targeted, from preschool through 12th grade, depending on the curriculum purchased. 

Additionally, if you are a super nerd like me,  both of the aforementioned curriculums have a pre-test that gives you information on what social skills to target.  After you have completed the social skills lessons, you can give a post-test to measure growth.  

How do I help my child improve their social skills?

1. Practice! Lots of practice.  
2. Review expectations and books frequently. 
3. Contrive opportunities to use the newly learned skills. 
4. Stay in proximity to your child when they are using new skills to help prompt and model the new skills. 
5. Offer small rewards for using the new skills.  Track the use of rewards on a behavior chart.
6. Once your child is using the new skills fluently, you can reduce the number of rewards that you are giving.
7. Make sure to still give kudos and high fives as your child uses their skills!

With practice and patience, social skills can improve over time!  I’d love to help you figure out strategies to help your child with social skills 🙂 Feel free to reach out!